CodeBlueBlog: CSI MEDBLOGS: DIABOLICAL MURDERS IN THE FORMER USSR GO ON...THE DEATH OF ZURAB ZHVANIA

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CSI MEDBLOGS: DIABOLICAL MURDERS IN THE FORMER USSR GO ON...THE DEATH OF ZURAB ZHVANIA

KGB, With The Space Heater, In The Party House

Thanks to the MHM (Mad House Madman) I went back to a news article I had skipped over previously. You know, sometimes even the most skeptical of us let down our guard for a minute...

I'm referring to the recent deaths of Zurab Zhvania, the prime minister of Georgia, and a political friend, Raul Usupov. They reportedly died of carbon monoxide poisoning while having a little party together...and at first glance it's an easy story to buy into: Two drunken revelers fall asleep in a room with the windows shut...and a space heater burning.

It's relatively common, so you need to blink a few times and read the news release over a couple of times until you say to yourself: no way.

First of all, the most unlikely demographic for poisoning by carbon monoxide from a space heater is a white male in his 40's. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, although carbon monoxide is odorless, many people develop mild symptoms like headache and nausea before becoming completely poisoned. It is likely that the two Georgians would have needed a "breath of fresh air" at sometime during their party to clear out the cobwebs and to dump out their ashtrays.

Second, most space heater poisonings occur while people are sleeping. This follows from the above issue of mild symptoms; but, it also pertains to the unabated use of the heater while sleeping. When awake, most people down-regulate space heaters at some point because they tend to overheat the premises -- so the size, power, age and make of the murderous space heater in this case would be quite important.

I Wanna Partay With You

The press release says that Zhvania, who is married and has children -- went to the home of the deputy governor of Georgia's Kvemo-Karti region for a "small party."

What is that? Well, a party is:

A social gathering especially for pleasure or amusement

...and I guess TWO people constitute a SMALL party.

Zhvania got to the party house just after midnight, locked all the doors, and sealed all the windows tightly before going out of touch for four hours at which time his brilliant and well-trained bodyguard -- after giving up trying to contact Zhvania by cellphone -- decided it was time to act, breaking through a window and finding the prime minister dead in an armchair and his friend dead in the kitchen.

So let's get this straight. The prime minister goes over to someone's house without his wife or children for a party of two people at midnight (*hehe*). The other person was also an important politician. I guess it was a small political party.

The prime minister leaves his bodyguards somewhere behind and goes into the house and locks the doors, then proceeds to sit down in an armchair next to a space heater that is burning gas.

The prime minister and his friend are so dumb they never heard about the dangers of using gas burning space heaters with all the windows shut, and they are so poor as to have an improperly functioning or poorly ventilated heater. Not to mention carbon monoxide detectors.

At some point the party host gets up and goes to the kitchen, where he dies (probably had the munchies right before the end) and Zhvania cooperated by dying simultaneously in the living room.

What do you think?

Murder Most Foul

This is a straight forward murder. Period. It's not like we have to do radical twists and turns as in the Yushchenko confabulation in order to make this work, right? Someone wants Zhvania dead. They pay off his body guards, kidnap him, poison him with carbon monoxide and plant him in an armchair, fire up the gas heater and leave town.

With Yushchenko I made the case that no one would be SO stupid as to try to kill him with Dioxin. Well now WE would be stupid if we didn't recognize the opposite phenomenon: poisoning someone in a way that everyone can accept as probable. Can't you just see all the KGB agents and affiliates meeting after the Yushchenko debacle and telling each other: we've got to make these murders more convincing!

And they did a good job, too. Because everyone just shook his head and said: too bad. Those heaters are dangerous.

Michael Corleone Had Fewer Enemies

Even more dangerous is being a controversial politician in a former Russian republic, I guess. Zhvania helped lead the 2003 Rose Revolution to overthrow his former buddy, Eduard Shevardnadze and replace him with a new buddy, Mikheil Saakashvili. Saakashvili promptly changed the constitution to make a new office for a prime minister, which Zhvania assumed in February 2004. But the new friendship was doomed to be short-lived.

Recently, Zhvania'a relationship with Saakashvili has eroded. In fact recent squabbles in the government between proteges of the two politicians have been regarded as a "backstage power struggle" between Zhvania and Saakashvili.

Zhvania has also been under fire, lately, because of his support of the controversial, Russian-dominated privatization of several key Georgian economic enterprises.

Always on My Mind

So who would want Zhvania dead? How about the OLD regime, the NEW regime and THE RICH and POWERFUL of Georgia. Who else? Anyone and everyone affected by his plans to privatize lucrative government services.

Not to mention all the usual suspects that might kill hiom and his friend for any one of a number of mundane reasons.

Just being Georgian seems to be a risk factor nowadays...or even just being a former member of the USSR.

Stay Tuned

Posted by Doctor CBB on February 08, 2005 at 05:40 PM | Permalink

Comments

Yep it was really easy to spot that it was murder. That's why I figured it was right up your alley. you did a great job with it.

Posted by: madhouse madman | February 08, 2005 at 09:20 PM

I'm not a physician, so I try not to spout off as a soi-disant expert on medicine. You might try exercising the same sort of discretion in writing about the Caucasus, about which I know something, first hand.

Maybe Zhvania and Usupov were murdered, maybe not. But the circumstances don't make a prima facie case for murder. Deaths from carbon monoxide poisoning are disturbingly common in Georgia. And your reference to "white males" is, umm, ironic in the _Caucasus_.

So, do you think the FBI (which sent a team to investigate) is either (a) incompetent or (b) complicit in a conspiracy?

Posted by: Jonathan Kulick | February 17, 2005 at 10:36 PM

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