CodeBlueBlog: CSI MEDBLOGS UPDATE: YUSHENKO'S FACE GETS NEW SPIN FROM THE "HARVARD OF AUSTRIA": RUDOLFINERHAUS

April 2005

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Old News Is No News

In a news report released overnight, the docs at the Rudolfinerhaus clinic (did they steal their facade from Classical Values?) in Austria -- the folks who treated Yushchenko after his bad sushi meal, are reported to have cracked the Yushchenko face case...err...well, maybe they haven't CRACKED it, but they seem to be getting close to BRUISING IT according to news sources:

Doctors at the Rudolfinerhaus clinic in Vienna were close to identifying the substance that left Mr Yushchenko's face disfigured with cysts and lesions, Nikolai Korpan was quoted as telling The Times.

Okay. I can buy that. They're getting close. How close?

Specialists in Britain, the US and France had helped to establish that it was a biological or chemical agent or, most likely, a rare poison that struck Mr Yushchenko down before the presidential election

There you go.

It was a biological agent. Or a chemical agent. Or, most likely, a rare poison. That's awfully close. About as close as they were two weeks ago, when all this speculation began, and those same docs talked about poison, chemicals not of food origin, and biological weapons ... *yawn*

Now, the team at Rudolf's House are all over this case and are at the ready to confirm this classic perfidy, ASAP or, whenever they can get their hands on the Ukrainian presidential candidate, because, as they are saying, the Rudolfians:

needed to examine him again to confirm their diagnosis

Take Me Back To Vienna

So, they are going to tell all just as soon as Yushchenko returns to Austria to let them do whatever it is they still need to do to "confirm" this diagnosis which is, according to the clinic's Dr. Korpan:

... no longer a question for discussion

Unfortunately -- and I'm sure Dr. Korpan hasn't heard this yet -- Yushchenko isn't going back to Vienna. According to the U.K. Times:

a spokeswoman said he had no plans to travel to Vienna

Rats. I bet they're ticked off at him!

Food For Thought

You know, I could be completely off base about this whole affair. Call me crazy. I just look at what they report and try to make it logical so that it fits within the schematic scaffolds of my medical knowledge and training (and common sense).

Sure, there's a chance that the secret service invited Viktor to dinner and then sprinkled some rare poison or an apocalyptic chemical agent on his wienerschnitzel that failed to kill him and instead transformed his head into an oblate lava lamp...but, where I come from it makes much more sense to put the whole thing together with the most likely elements placed FIRST in the diagnostic list, and then proceed DOWNWARD to the more unlikely, rarer possible explanations for what you see. And the common chemical poison that jumps right out, in my mind, as the most likely agent in this tragic comedy comes in a snappy bottle and goes down like silky fire: Vodka.

STAY TUNED

Hat Tip: Off Wing Opinion

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health care also health·care (hlthkâr) n. :efforts made to maintain or restore health especially by trained and licensed professionals -- usually hyphenated when used attributively

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